How To Feel More Body Confident, According To Experts
5 minutes read
We are blessed with one body, so firstly, shower it with some self-kindness and respect and learn the mind-over-matter tricks that will help you embrace yourself no matter what size, tone and shape.
We know. It’s easier said than done, but achieving body confidence is not a one-way street. You can have a bombshell body but still think you’re not beautiful enough. How we think, treat and take care of our bodies impacts how we feel about it as it requires a 360° holistic approach.
“Changing our bodies doesn’t make us feel more sustainably confident. However, changing the relationship that we have with our bodies will,” Tasha Bailey, Creative & Trauma Psychotherapist and Self-Love Advocate tells Beauty Daily.
What is body confidence?
Body confidence is loving the body you’re in. Loving, accepting, admiring, respecting and celebrating every inch of it, no matter the size or shape.
“Sadly, we live in a society where perfectionist ideals are placed on bodies, especially female-presenting bodies. This is about fitting into unreachable ideals stemming from Eurocentric, fat-phobic and ableist views. When our bodies do not align with those perfectionist ideals, we are often left with shame and self-criticism for not being good enough,” Bailey says.
Research shows that body insecurities can often link to past or present trauma.
“When we are in the thick of an emotional crisis which we don’t know how to deal with, we can sometimes transfer that anxiety onto our bodies instead. We start to see our body as the problem rather than the wider external issues. Why? Because picking our bodies apart gives us more of a sense of control than picking situations that might be out of our control,” Bailey says.
The next time you find yourself scrutinising your body, Bailey suggests: “Reflecting deeper on other stresses we are carrying, which have been projected onto our bodies instead.”
From self-destruct to self-care
Every one of us is unique and so are the things that boost our confidence, such as putting extra importance on our physical appearance. It shouldn’t be considered as vanity; it’s self-care. Our body is our physical temple and it is non-negotiable; it needs to be taken care of.
“Pampering yourself, making time for self-care is a reminder that you deserve to be treated right. It’s a good thing to put effort into yourself, but don’t do it for the person you’re with regardless of whether you’re married or in a new relationship, dating, or perhaps single. Instead, do it for you, so you feel good about yourself, ” Charlotte McHale, Clarins Training Manager, says.
Adding, “If you feel confident you will be sexier, it’s just a fact. Confident people are sexy.”
Here are ways on how to feel good naked no matter what.
“How you look naked isn’t the only thing that’s important but how your skin feels too. You don’t want your skin to feel like it’s covered in scales, right? So I recommend exfoliating before any romance to have a nice silky skin that’s smooth to touch,” says Charlotte McHale, Clarins Training Manager.
Beauty Daily recommends Exfoliating Body Scrub, £32. It is formulated with smoothing Natural Bamboo Powders and a hint of ginger which effectively ‘rubs away’ rough, flaky surface cells and impurities, unveiling a fresh layer of skin.
Last Minute Shave? McHale’s tip:
“Some of us might need to do a leg shave for Valentine’s Day. But first, exfoliate because what it does is lifts the hair and if there are any kind of dead skin cells, they sometimes sit across hair and you can get ingrown hairs and debris out. When you shave, you get a much smoother shave and then you can moisturise. Do not use the gel with menthol but opt for a normal body cream like Moisture-Rich Body Lotion, £36.”
A survey says that most women claim ‘a tan’ makes them feel more confident and attractive. Clarins tanning products, lotions, and gel develop in just four hours and it’s super easy to do. If in doubt? Read Self Tan 101: How to Fake Tan At Home.
Finish the look and add a bit of a shimmer by using SOS primer on your collarbone; the iridescent gleam enhances bone structure.
Expert-approved tips on how to cultivate self-love and body confidence
To feel more secure, we need to unlearn the harmful messages that we have internalised from society about what our body looks like. Psychotherapist Bailey shares seven ways to change how we talk and treat our bodies.
- Your body is the longest relationship you will ever have in your lifetime, so nurture it with love as much as you would with a friend or partner.
- Find spaces where your body is welcomed and celebrated, like affirming groups and friends. Find things that make your body feel good.
- Write a love letter to your body. What things has your body done for you? Please focus on the purpose of your body rather than how it looks.
- Normalise talking about body shame. Shame is a feeling that thrives on secrecy, silence and it often influences us to make ourselves smaller. So begin to talk about “not-good enough” feelings as a way to release shame. What does it feel like? When do you feel it most?
- Set boundaries with people who sabotage the relationship you have with your body. This means setting consequences or creating space from those people.
- We have millions of thoughts, but not all of them are true. When a critical thought comes up, remind yourself it’s not your truth. Imagine being in a rap battle with that thought, and tell it to get off the stage!
- If body positivity feels too difficult, try body neutrality. This is where you accept your body for what it is in a neutral way. You can work on cultivating love later on.
Looking for more Valentine’s Day content? Read 16 Valentine’s Day 2023 Beauty Looks That Cupid Himself Would Approve